Oh Mio Dio

Velveeta in the food section is enough of a stretch, but in the Italian section?! Why, that's just offensive. Dillons, I love your international offerings, but please put this where it belongs: with the oils, plastics and poison. And kindly fill the space with cannoli shells.

Oh mio dio.

Yep, it's been an OMG (or OMD) week around here, including one event that will NOT be accompanied by a photo. So I'll paint the picture: Anthony and I were working on a shower curtain hanging project upstairs (and, incidentally, I highly recommend complicated building, measuring, drilling and hanging projects in close quarters with one's tired spouse).

Meanwhile, the boys were downstairs discovering the hilarity of combining an iPhone's photo capabilities with their private parts. About a dozen times.

I'm sorry, don't most boys wait until their 20s for that?!

Anyway, as funny as I secretly found it (before promptly erasing them, thankyouverymuch Federal prosecutors), the boys were sternly scolded, grounded and reminded that people who do those kinds of things wind up in jail.

Or politics.

In other news, more WTF than OMG, I'd like to introduce my newest accessory:

Man, I need a mani. 

Yes, that's an inhaler and, yes, apparently a 35-year-old can develop asthma, either allergy-induced (thanks Wichita!) or exercise-induced. Not sure what's causing mine, but I do know that nothing inspires confidence in spin class like a wheezing instructor.

But here's hoping the wheezing is behind me; a quick suck on that tailpipe helps me breathe more like myself and less like the 100-year-old lifelong smoker who's been inhabiting my body for a few months.

And, yes, to complete the look, I'll be un-retiring my glasses and headgear.

Land Unlocked

We've tried and tried to counter this summer's heat with the usual methods...

Hitting the pool daily for swim team and lessons:

Installing four glorious ceiling fans, made only better with these three glorious words from Anthony: "You were right."

Lighting other things aflame, figuring we'd feel relatively cool versus, say, a Roman Candle:

Indoor activities, like bitching and moaning. Oh, and bowling, which is more fun for the boys:

But we were finally cooled properly - and unlocked from this most land-locked place - with a trip to the lake yesterday with our dear friends, the Wilsons.

 Daniel Wilson, Roman & Ben

It was the boys' first(!) lake trip, first boat ride and first fling on a tube...and easily their best, most exhausting day ever. (Roman the daredevil, hopeful this morning: "Are we going on the boat again today?")

  Ben, Anthony & Roman

As for me...well, it felt like the return of my 16-year-old, laughing, lake-living self...with only a few differences: I was plus sunscreen (turns out that stuff works!), minus crushes on all the boys (never did work), and plus next-day tube-induced pain. Maybe there's a workout for that...?!