How Hot Is It?

I'm sure I used to hear about Midwest heat waves and wonder: what's a heat wave? And where's the Midwest?

But here I am, smack in the middle of both.

So, how hot is it, you ask?

First off, it's so hot that all I talk about anymore is the heat. So, yeah, I'm a pretty lively conversationalist.

But just how hot is it?

"Feels like you're in a blast furnace" is how the weatherman described it, but I think it's more: "Feels like you're drinking hot coffee and eating soup while wearing a wool turtleneck sweater and blow drying your hair in a never-ending Bikram Yoga class."

Whatever the case, it's so hot outside today that even the ice cream man had to stop in for a cold one at our local liquor store. (Is it possible they're working on a merger? If not, I may have just discovered my million dollar idea...)

And, back home, it's SO hot that sibling rivalry has been replaced by sweet sibling lethargy:

 
But if you really want to know how hot it is, here's our week's forecast. (Add about 5 "feels like" degrees for humidity):

Here's looking at you, Monday! I anxiously await your promise of one glorious cloud. Happy hot weekend!

Kid Drills

Today, as we left the doctor's office with stitches in Benny's head (he's fine, but more on that later), I had an idea for a hybrid class - parenting and exercise, rolled into one. It could be called Kid Drills and it would be - you guessed it! - a series of fix-it/respond-to-it/clean-it parenting emergencies.

Because anymore, the typical parenting class topics - bathing, swaddling, feeding - just don't apply to us. Most of our days are a series of kid-related drills that get my heart racing as if I was suffering through a spin class.

So, while I'm grossly underqualified to teach a parenting class, I'd at least like to submit a few topic ideas:

• Sweeping up a broken glass before anyone steps on it
• Sunscreening children before they get wet
• Cleaning up barf at (insert retail establishment here) 
• Finding lost, beloved blankies and bears in time for bed
• Covering your lady business when kids barge in on your shower
• All things that follow the comment "there's poop all over the..."
• Dressing kids and getting them out of the house in under two minutes because you forgot a speech therapy appointment
• Navigating air travel

And the final exam:

• Handling medical emergencies

Because, this morning, we went from this:

 To this:

That's Benny on Dr. Kumar's exam table with a gash on the back of his sweet head. He hit his head when he swung into a nearby cabinet edge. And, yes, he's wearing the most ironic shirt ever.

Now, we've had our fair share of ER visits, but it's still a baffling, frightening guessing game. Am I over-reacting? Under-reacting? Where do I take him? ER? Doctor's office? Funny farm for all of us?

Today we settled on the doctor's office (I'll call that middle-reacting), and got out with two stitches and only slight emotional distress. Ben will surely be back on the climbing wall soon, but I'll be putting in a request for bumpers on the sharp edges (duh?).

Thankfully, every drill-filled day (and every exercise class, for that matter) is made better when followed by Chipotle, Ben and Roman's fave. It's a drill we know well. Now, time for Advil and naps...

Al Dente

After mixed results from our first Wichita dentist ("Well, we can do a root canal for a thousand dollars or just pull it out for 20 bucks..."), we've found the fabulous folks at Cambridge Dentistry, where the boys and I spent a surprisingly pleasant two hours today.

Behold, the brave Roman:

We left with prizes (surprises, Ben corrected), new toothbrushes, and 67 clean teeth. That's 20 for Ben, 20 for Roman and 27 for me...yup, I went with the $20 option and am minus one back tooth. Thanks, Former Dentist!

Milestones Big and Small

Being human and all, I'm always happy when human rights get a boost.

Today, I give a big thumbs up to New York for passing the milestone gay marriage bill. Gay or straight, traditional or non-traditional, may we all enjoy the kind of lifelong companionship we deserve, along with license to wear ghastly nightwear and the marriage bonus, a KitchenAid Mixer.

But, in all seriousness, I found this quote in Time, which will force me to get to my point:

Over time, people who advance liberties tend to win the argument, whether it's for women, African Americans, immigrants or the gay community. In the end, America takes the side of the people looking for rights. That's one of the wonders of this country. Eventually, we live up to our ideals. 

-Chris Matthews

I especially appreciate that this quote doesn't imply that gay rights (or women's rights, etc.) and patriotism are mutually exclusive. As in...you can love your gay friends and love your country. And love your country for letting your gay friends love each other. How great is that?!

So, a big high-five and some serious jazz hands to you, New York.

Meanwhile, far from the politics - and comically/tragically far from passing any gay rights bills - here in Wichita, we've had a few serious milestones of our own this week.

Ben and Roman attended Little Wonders, a four-day camp of art, music and bible study (Roman is a bear; Ben's a frog)...

...and they finished their first round of swim lessons (Ben's video below):

That means they can swim on their own - just floaties for Roman - while I lounge.

So, sorry New York, but I win for milestone-of-the-week. He-ll-ooo summer; he-ll-ooo lounge chair, don't mind if I do. This should give me just the time I need to time to draft my letter: "Dear Ben and Roman, here's why Mommy and Daddy weren't married when you were born..."

"Nothing is higher...

...than an architect." -George Costanza

Look out Vandelay Industries; this hot Wichita summer is turning Ben into quite the architect...

F U a/c

If anyone's looking for a weight loss plan, I'd like to offer the Scognamillo Livingroom Sit.

Yup, nightmare of 100-degree-summer nightmares, the a/c just died. And, whoa, did it make a dramatic exit; the grinding sound and shaking was so loud that it made poor Benny cry.

(Even worse, it momentarily sucked so much energy from the kitchen that I couldn't microwave my lunch leftovers. The nerve! Although a cold lunch might normalize my body temp.)

The boys are fine, but I'm the one crying now; the repairman won't be available until Thursday afternoon.

Conveniently, the boys started swim lessons today (pictured below with Miss Linda). So, if you need us, we'll be at the pool. Until Thursday.

And the winner is...

This weekend was non-stop motion, starting with Anthony's Saturday morning Riverfest Run.

The boys love Anthony's races. And what's not to love?! Early morning with Wichita's most active (yes, they exist), cheering on Anthony from the comfort of the Radio Flyer. Also, we want them to have tons of exposure to exercise, especially after Roman's recent comment re: a jogger: "Mommy, that girl can't find her house."

So, the more they learn about exercise the better, particularly at Wichita's annual Riverfest, where the top activities include:
1. Eating fried turkey legs
2. Sweating
3. Wearing age- and body type-inappropriate clothes.
4. Peeing in public
5. All of the above

But, they kick it off with the 10k, which Anthony has run each year since we arrived in Wichita. This year, he placed 4th in his age group, but because of a registration snafu (thanks Genesis Health Clubs!), was listed as "no name." The boys and I were equally incognito, but far less ambitious - behold our perch at the finish line:

Race done; then Ben went off to a b'day party:

While Roman helped us shop:

(Incredibly, with two adults and only one child, we still left a full, paid-for bag of groceries at the check-out stand. Really?!)

On Sunday, Anthony had yet another victory, when his soccer team won their championship. I'd have taken a picture, but my camera (and I) would surely have melted.

Instead, the guys and I were attempting naps in the comfort of the a/c (nice, huh?!) and in preparation for Ben's evening: charging around Eastborough park at Oliver's birthday treasure hunt:

All-in-all, a nice little weekend. Busy? Yes. Fun? Yes, super fun. Productive? Eh, Anthony wins that prize too.